The Struggles of a Writer Battling Imposter Syndrome
I will never forget being in one of my college creative writing classes, hearing my fellow classmates talk about their achievements, and feeling like I wasn’t good enough to be in that room. So many of them were published in different literary magazines or worked as editors in their free time. How could I ever keep up with my classmates if I was already behind the curve in college?
Even when I got my first story published, I felt like it shouldn’t have counted. It was at my college’s own undergraduate literary magazine, and sure, other students from across the country submitted for it, and I was one of the few lucky ones chosen. But it felt like I somehow cheated the system.
At the launch party for that same publication, my favorite creative writing professor spoke with my mom and grandpa for a while. This professor sang my praises in front of my family, saying he knew I was going to go far with my craft. While I loved hearing these wonderful words from someone I admired, I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t deserve them.
When I graduated college with a job secured at a local magazine, I felt like it had to have just been luck. When I was published again, I felt like it had to be a joke. Every single time someone praises my writing, I feel like it has to just be a comment to make me feel better.
Imposter syndrome has been chasing me for too long, and I’m tired of feeling like it rules my life.
I know imposter syndrome is something every writer faces at some point in time. It’s that little voice in your head telling you that this dream is something you shouldn’t be chasing, that you don’t have innate talent, and that all of your accomplishments were because of pure luck.
When it comes to artists and writers, I think imposter syndrome is such an issue because we all have been told for so long that it’ll be nearly impossible to make these hobbies our careers. We were told not to pursue these ventures because we need to look at how many people actually have careers from their work! How do we posses enough talent to be one of them?
Knowing Your Craft
I constantly think about when my mom would tell people I was a writer, she’d follow it up by saying I was going to write the next best selling series, and while I appreciate the support, she didn’t realize how much more there was to the world of writing.
Of course, I’d love to write a book one day, but for now, I’m making a living off of writing. I’m an editor and writer for a great publication, and I’ve been on staff at a number of other great places, including international magazines. Are they National Geographic or Rolling Stone? No! But I’m making a good living off my craft.
I think it’s important to know a lot about your skills and art, as well as where you can find careers within it. I’m still dreaming of seeing my name on best sellers’ lists, but for now, I’m proud of myself for getting paid to do the thing I love.
People outside of our crafts only know the people who become ultra-famous. When people say they’re filmmakers, people expect them to be working on the next blockbuster film, but in reality, a lot of people are making good money working on much smaller projects.
I think it’s important to keep grinding at what you love to reach your ultimate dreams, but sometimes, it’s important to take a second and realize you made it in some sense. You’re working on your craft and making money.
Say, though, you’re not making a lot of money or even any money from your craft. I think you still need to stop and see how far you’ve come. Think about the version of you who wanted to do this for the rest of your life. Take a second and think about how far you’ve come since that moment! Take time to be proud of any progress you’ve made in your lifetime, and realize you’ll keep growing as time goes on.
Can We Beat Imposter Syndrome?
One day last summer, I ran into one of my old classmates from college. We got to talking about writing and what we’ve done since we graduated four years before. I told him how I published two short articles, but I tried to brush it off like it wasn’t enough. Because, at that moment, I felt like it really wasn’t a lot.
That’s when he told me that he hadn’t really written since college. He even name-dropped one of our old classmates, someone I considered the best writer in our class, and said they didn’t write much anymore.
After all these years, I’ve spent time imagining what my old classmates were up to. I went down the journalism route with my career, so it was hard to stay in touch with a lot of my creative writing friends once our time in the classroom ended. I had spent the past few years imagining the wonderful graduate programs they went to and the words they were publishing.
But they weren’t publishing at all.
I think we get so caught up in our own heads about what everyone else is doing when in reality, we really don’t know what most of our peers are working on. Sure, everyone can talk about the books they’re writing or the ideas they have for bigger projects, but we don’t know how much time they’re spending on their computers actually writing.
And say our peers and friends publish some beloved, amazing work. We shouldn’t be hard on ourselves for not doing it yet. It’s easier to say than to actually do that, but your time will come. Use the jealousy to fuel yourself to be a better writer and work harder. Celebrate your friends’ accomplishments with them, and work just as hard so that one day, they’ll be celebrating with you.
Remembering why we chose this craft might be one of the best ways to combat imposter syndrome. Remembering why we love photography, writing, or filmmaking is what should fuel us every day. Take time to enjoy your art. Be proud you’re able to create something beautiful for this world.